When 2011 began, I swore to myself that this would be the year I would break out of my shell and attempt to get published. I did not at all foresee what that would mean, but while the road has been rocky (almost impassably rocky at times), I am happy with the general progress I’ve made as a writer and as a human being.

Ebooks were brand new to me this time last year. I’d just got a Kindle in October and the only books I’d read were electronic versions of the types of paperbacks I was buying at Barnes & Noble before. I had never heard of KDP, much less did I foresee the coming indie publishing revolution.

By the end of January (mid-Feb at the latest), that had completely changed, and I was beginning to think seriously about self-publishing the novel I had just finished over the previous December, The Wars of Gods and Men. It was the fourth book I’d completed and the first I felt confident enough to send to editors and agents. I’d been waiting and waiting for some replies, but by the middle of March, when I was either meeting with rejection after rejection, or getting no reply, I decided to forge ahead into the realm of self-pubbing ebooks.

Seeing as the rejections I’d received were in one of two camps (generic we’re-swamped rejections and the slightly more specific we’re-not-sure-how-to-sell-this), I decided that the book was solid. After all, I wasn’t being told I’d written rubbish. Looking back now, I have to say that I probably did jump in too early, that Wars should have been delayed, reworked some, etc., but I have generally continued to believe that it is the best of the three I published this past year (though Pride comes very close to matching it).

But despite the three novels all coming out over the summer, as well as a free promotional novella in the same universe, I grew increasingly disheartened that I was making no money in sales whatsoever. I promoted like mad but eventually felt that nothing was working. I grew despondent. Things only got worse when I saw newer writers publishing and making decent sales without much (or any) publicity–no website, twitter presence, advertising, etc.

And then it hit me: Although publishing is a total crapshoot and I kept rolling snake eyes, some people were reading and most were even liking what I wrote. That simple fact, small though the numbers were, was encouraging. After all, had I not opted to publish and simply given up after a string of agent rejections, nobody would be reading.

I enjoy writing and I wouldn’t stop. It can be discouraging, but at the end of the day I did accomplish one of my goals for the year. Will 2012 bring a change in fortunes? Perhaps. I’ve begun the serialized publication of a new epic fantasy novel, which I feel is much stronger than Wars or the other books in The Ossian Chronicles, and that is as it should be. Perhaps if I felt a lack of improvement, I’d be wise to give up.

But overall, I feel I have finally accepted the fact that things are what they are. I was very disappointed with events until about October, but the attitude has changed lately. Partly, I think this is due to the fact that I was employed only part-time in the first half of the year, and I felt that something had to happen with the books out of simple necessity. I’ve been blessed to gain a greater teaching load (and thus much more money) at the university, and so publishing success suddenly seems less important.

My sister made a New Year’s resolution to be more optimistic. I’ve found that I have simply grown more positive without trying. Maybe that’s because I’ve accepted that I can’t change what is out of my hands, and I am truly enjoying doing the best at what is in my control.